Tuesday, March 06, 2007

False Friends

Many times in the life, one must have experienced that you come across a person that develops into friendship and then you discover that you friend tells you something that is clearly a selfish proposition in his favor. You feel embarassed and may not find courage to refuse the person that you call as a friend. Such proposition come as a shock and you wonder how a person whom you may have even given a gift or treated him kindly could ask such a thing.

I have encountered such situation many times. My most recent was I had given a recent-acquainteded friend a Jazz CD to introduce him this wonderful music. To my surprise, I got a thank you e-mail and also was a proposition that he could teach me something that I interested me, for some money! I was embarassed and trying to think the right reply. I remembered the following Abraham Lincoln's quote:
Stand with anybody that stands right,
Stand with him while he is right, and
part with him when he goes wrong


This statement provided me with necessary strength to write back that I cannot mix the relationship as a colleague or friendship with money as it will eventually create a negetive environment. And thus we parted our ways.. Later I realized that it was a good decision and made my mind lighter. If a person can have no shame to propose such a thing, then one must be bold to part with him and not feel embarassed replying in kind -- especially when one is right. I am glad that this incident happened, because I feel confident that I could face more such incidents.
**
When I grew up, I have seen many friends who have gone in the wrong direction and ruined their lives, just because of false friends. Not because they were nieve, but because they were afraid to loose the cool company. This is also call peer pressure. I wished .. they had the courage to part with such false friends as it leads to certain ruin.

To the present generation kids, I may further advice to read about the Abraham Lincoln's life stuggle. It will provide a great motivation. During the civil war, there were times when most of the nation was against Abraham Lincoln .. yet he stood firm in his resolve to save the nation and the great system of democracy. His following quote reflect both his resolve and strength to resist the "peer pressure":
"I desire so to conduct the affairs of this administration that if at the end, When I come to lay down the reins of power, I have lost every other friend on earth, I shall atleast have one friend left, and that friend shall be down inside of me"

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It is very important to make the right choice of friends to enjoy the fruits of friendship. Yes, it is so true that people are often led astray by false friends, who are actually a devil in disguise. Anyways, take care and do drop in to my blog for some real fun advice on friendship.

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed your observation of friendships, I don't think many people consider this when their friends go a direction the person wouldn't always persue on their own.

I remember my uncle once telling me, "If at the end of your life you can count your true friends on one hand, you are doing exceptionally well."

As I grow older I have seen that there is a lot of truth to that statement.

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