False Friends

Many times in the life, one must have experienced that you come across a person that develops into friendship and then you discover that you friend tells you something that is clearly a selfish proposition in his favor. You feel embarassed and may not find courage to refuse the person that you call as a friend. Such proposition come as a shock and you wonder how a person whom you may have even given a gift or treated him kindly could ask such a thing.

I have encountered such situation many times. My most recent was I had given a recent-acquainteded friend a Jazz CD to introduce him this wonderful music. To my surprise, I got a thank you e-mail and also was a proposition that he could teach me something that I interested me, for some money! I was embarassed and trying to think the right reply. I remembered the following Abraham Lincoln's quote:
Stand with anybody that stands right,
Stand with him while he is right, and
part with him when he goes wrong

This statement provided me with necessary strength to write back that I cannot mix the relationship as a colleague or friendship with money as it will eventually create a negetive environment. And thus we parted our ways.. Later I realized that it was a good decision and made my mind lighter. If a person can have no shame to propose such a thing, then one must be bold to part with him and not feel embarassed replying in kind -- especially when one is right. I am glad that this incident happened, because I feel confident that I could face more such incidents.
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When I grew up, I have seen many friends who have gone in the wrong direction and ruined their lives, just because of false friends. Not because they were nieve, but because they were afraid to loose the cool company. This is also call peer pressure. I wished .. they had the courage to part with such false friends as it leads to certain ruin.

To the present generation kids, I may further advice to read about the Abraham Lincoln's life stuggle. It will provide a great motivation. During the civil war, there were times when most of the nation was against Abraham Lincoln .. yet he stood firm in his resolve to save the nation and the great system of democracy. His following quote reflect both his resolve and strength to resist the "peer pressure":
"I desire so to conduct the affairs of this administration that if at the end, When I come to lay down the reins of power, I have lost every other friend on earth, I shall atleast have one friend left, and that friend shall be down inside of me"

My discovery of Abraham Lincoln

My discovery of Abraham Lincoln came when I was searching for children books that could provide good role model for my young kids. I bought few books related to Abraham Lincoln, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Edison, Tom Sawyer and others. It amazed me that Abraham Lincoln had humble beginnings, starting as a manual laborer(woodcutter) with passion to do something worthwhile for the society to be remembered for.

Most importantly he was an honest, noble and compassionate man; after killing a turkey he avowed never to hunt again. With less than a year of school education, he could write or speak like a person no other! As I read a brief story of Lincoln in children’s book, I had a feeling that he was one of the greatest man that I did not know and had a fervent desire to know more. I read with nail-biting anxiety and wished that he could meet the expectation that I imagined of him.

Wow! Not only he was great; I thought, among the people I ever know, who are as great as him? Weighting by the character and the influence on the people, I could only think of five such personalities - Lord Ram, Lord Buddha, Lord Jesus, Mahatma Gandhi and Abraham Lincoln! I had the realization that he was not just American but a person who belonged to mankind.

I was disappointed that I did not know about him soon enough. I desired that more people ought to know or else he will be forgotten in next couple of hundred years. Fortunately, like a god's gift to me, my next project was in Indiana. I visited his birth place in Kentucky, boyhood in Indiana and later years in Springfield, Illinois. I was glad American government and the American people have preserved these places for the future generations. The ranger told me that he is the second most written about person after Jesus Christ. That gave me an immense satisfaction that he is silently admired by lot of people and will not be forgotten.

He was not only a man with character, he literally steered crucial decision himself as president as if he alone was sailing the ship to save democracy - a system, in my opinion, is the best hope for mankind. He helped me actually understand the democracy and, oddly enough, help me to appreciate Hinduism (my religion).

It will be my earnest desire to express some of the wonderful experience in this blog. I feel my articles can make non-Americans more appreciative of Abraham Lincoln and the great country that USA is. Interestingly, with my non-American perspective, hopefully, I could also make Americans appreciate about him and their great country.

As I left USA, I bought volumes of books and tapes about Lincoln, as I could not get these treasures in Singapore or India, where I am currently residing. I am still in the process of reading about him and enjoying it.